Chrisabig: Fat fat fat, na wah oo

Stop trolling! It aint funny.

Awww... See what our beautiful thread has turned into. Not nice!

Lollz.. I saw this video first somewhere and I thought it was boring..
But the animation is cool tho.

ileobatojo: Abeg Vure, as you prepare for your upcoming wedding, me I want to make sure you also chopped prada, brazillian, BB, samsung galaxy, iPad, car and orisirisi on top this your future husband o. Because if the only thing you 'chopped' is school fees all this time, then you be real mugu + suegbe.

If so, abeg, correct your Bleep up before the next 2 months and chop better tin because you fit no see am chop inside dat marriage.

Okay this is funny

See yabs! Im enjoying this thread jor. Every missile you throw at me my conscience already has.
Limme oo.

jennykadry:

Are you enjoying the attention or what? My friend log off and go sort out your messed up life.

Madam hit and run. Taa gbafuo

Yes? Hehehehehe... The Lord is my muscle. I cant be gloomy all year.

I think im done being girl of the hour.. Thanks for the attention and advice.

Okay story time over. Next step go to nollywood and sell my script abi?

vivianc:

I knew someone in his/her quest for justification would believe this.

Yea, nollywood movie, for Nigeria?
No be for nija we all dey?
Pls Vure, I need some clarification................
1. How did you meet this guy?
2. Why were you calling him "uncle?" He is just 9 or 10yrs older, unless you are really smallish in stature, he woudn't really be that bigger than you physically.
3. You said your whole family knew him as "uncle?" Then we are your main uncles?
4. Apart from him seeing you through school. Was there any other romantic gestures? Like dates? Gifts? Text messages? And that sorta thing.
5.Was the relationship a strictly "he is paying my fees" kinda relationship? Did you ever visit? Slept over? Cooked and cleaned for these over 5yrs? Was there something like a peck? A kiss?
6. Were you ever involved with another guy? Be it platonic or otherwise. Did he know about it? How did he react?
7. So said he was just an "uncle" till recently? So how did he know you are a virgin?

Pls, answer all this truthfully.
@Vure

Do you mind if I dont, please?

Chillisauce:

Don't even call vure poor girl! Which poor girl?
Vure eye tear well well pass anybody, as time Goes on, she go dey update her story so it fits into hers, as to get less blame. Na today Yansh dey back? Lol

This is some funny ish.

vivianc:

Ok, i'm being too hard on you, I know.

But i'm not mad at you for not marrying the guy, nah. I'm mad at you for leading him on all these years.
Sweetie, why didn't you say something? Maybe in your second year, or third.
I'm sure you had room mates, i know how school scenario is in Nigeria. And i'm sure this man visited you in your hostel or off campus, did you ever tell your friends about him and how you felt about him? Did anyone advise you at all?

This life get as e be o my dear.

I know right?

If I tell you I still call him 'Uncle' would you believe?
Lol... To me and everyone else he's my 'Uncle' and acted so till recently.
The over protectiveness, over interest, unecessary quarrels et all just started and so did my fear of him.. And then the proposal..

I'll be forever grateful to him for what he's done for me but I'll be doing him and myself great evil if I get married to him now (yeah he says next two months). maybe later? I dunno.



I like you oo Aunty Vivianc

vivianc:

Yea, and she doesn't see herself spending the rest of her life with him, but she saw herself spending the rest of his money. From yea r1 through final year, NYSC, ...................

How wicked can one be?

You ma'am are my conscience.

I understand what you mean..

Nashville:

Bros, how do you grow to love someone by force? This is a popular 21 yr old girl with lots of time on her hands and you want to tell her love some 32 yr old man by force. Na by force you take love your own wife? The man has proposed, he is looking forward to settling down soon, no need to postpone the evil day, the earlier she lets him know the better. Love no be by force by fire, it should be of a free will.

Modelling things oo no negative thing there. Lol.

Nashville:

Good, I happy say you sef accept your fault. All of us dey make mistake so dont beat yourself too much as the thing don happen. Wetin you suppose do now, na to quickly organise family meeting. Join your mama, ur brothers and uncles put for the meeting to follow you beg and to defend you. Invite the man and use God take beg am. Kneel down beg am say you no fit marry am, say make e forgive you. No use forget o, becos hin no go fit forget lailai, just say make hin forgive you. Carry doctor join put for the meeting, because me dey fear say, if you tell am say you no dey do again, the guy wey love you like dat fit get heart attack o. All that money and time no be small thing o. E never even touch you sef, so na investment down the drain for am! E no enjoy anything.

You still dey young and i no go advice you make you enter that kin marriage as you no go dey happy. But no try that kin thing again o. Dat your guy be like better guy so i think say hin go understand. But no try am again o!

Yes Uncle.

swag queen: Vure,thank you for giving us something to debate on.

Hehehehe.. Una go pay me abi..

@everyone, I cant thank you enough for making me see every every from every corner. Eh I gree, I do mistake.... Una don help me wella.. Ese gan.

Me here, I still dey talk with my God sha.. E go helep me, I no go do mistake.

Im a newbie oo.. Somebody show me around.

Lol..

Well, what can I say. I as guilty as you all say I am. You think I've not thought along this lines? You think Ive not berated myself for this? You think I dont feel like a gold digger? You think Im happy being in this situation?

Anyways, I was giving you reasons why I can't up and leave the relationship even if it is bound to be abusive and even if its not what I want...

Its all good tho.

And No! No one can blame my mum for this. The woman has tried her best to bring me up and shouldn't be blamed at all. Who would have thought that all benefactors get married to their beneficiaries?

About seeing someone else, who said I couldn't have seen someone else if I wanted to all this years? Na now? My virtue is all I consider mine y'kno.

Thanks everyone once again. It wasn't all that bad sharing my 'tale' here.
Now for real ayaf run back to my shell.

Okay Okay I get it.
Thanks everyone.
*goes back into shell*

Y'all are getting it wrong.
It didnt start as dating.
My mum wouldn't take that.
It was all "my little wife, small wife" and all.. It never got serious till recently..
My dad is late and its just my mum and siblings. She couldnt do alot to train us all and seeing that he considered me a lil sis she wasn't worried.

I don't want to get married to him or anyone else at this stage of my life.

I do like him alot but I cant see me spending the rest of my life with him.
Now, how do I leave the relationship without being ungrateful?

ileobatojo:

There are some concerns, yes, but you have not successfully communicated the severity in this post. Basically, if I try to read between the lines, he sponsored your education, spends on you and now acts as if he owns you and you are his property. He feels your virginity belongs to him and that he has bought it. It doesn't seem too bad, yet it's enough to make you uncomfortable.

I will say that the fact that he sponsored your education, got you a job and has been doing lots of financial favors (seemingly in exchange for your hand in marriage) throws a wrench in things. It naturally makes you question whether you 'used' him financially and now want to dump him for a younger model vs whether you are really concerned for abuse, or both. This is likely why you are so conflicted.

Well you know the truth in your heart. Not a great situation to be in. Ideally though it's not the best to marry someone out of pity or a feeling that you owe him marriage because you might be miserable, abuse or not. Ideally, he should not sponsor your education 'in exchange' for a relationship because people can change their minds. If you're not sure what you want to do, then you need to stop accepting financial favors from him for now and slow down. Time may be the decider here.

This right here! This is my major problem!

I feel like Im indebted to him.

ileobatojo: @ Vure, here's an informative article. Apparently the most telling sign that you are in an abusive relationship is fear of your partner!

Thanks. Ive gone through the article. It helps alot.

pickabeau1: Jealousy or trying to insulate you?

You have to still trust your instincts

Observe

Is it possible to track an ex-girlfriend of this man of yours to get some up close information

You can use a third party so that acid tinz will not flow

Ensure you don't resign from that job no matter what

I don't know which. Honestly.
He gets really angry if I hang out with friends or go out without his knowledge.(I dont live with him) And in his anger he yells at me and almost immediately he apologizes.

He doesn't have any exes im aware of. According to him, no girl ever worth that much attention till he met me 5 years ago..

I wont resign from the Job.

.

Nogen:

Does he stop you from seeing your friends? He may not be an abuser. My hubby is more than ten years older than me and I have never been abused one day. In fact, he made sure I went back to the university for my masters and currently going for my phd. He gave me so much independence knowing fully well I won't abuse it. He treats me like a queen, honestly. He is amazing. My family loves him so much. As far as he is concerned, my parents are his parents. He gave me a voice to speak against any injustice anyone may want to dish my way. He taught me how to speakmy mind without being insulting. I stood up to his older and younger one when they planned to abuse me because am not from their tribe. He encouraged me to speak up and today, they dare not plan or say evils against me. I think you should watch him closely, pray and then make up your mind.

Thanks alot ma'am.
He doesn't stop me from seeing friends directly but from his reactions whenever I go out he really hates me being with them..
At times he just suddenly comes up with this great urgency to hang out and thats especially when Im 'sposed to be with my friends.

Thanks so much @Ileobatojo. Ive thought along the lines of what you posted over and over again.

@Pickabeau1: Yes im through with Uni. Studied Med. Lab science and I work at a private hospital he recommended me to. He sponsored my education cos my parents were not financially stable at the time hence my hesitation to leave the relationship.

The qualities:
He doesn't hesitate to assist me financially. Its like im solely dependent on him. Lord knows im not.
He thinks all my decisions are childish and doesn't take me seriously.
He's very possesive of me, takes me out to where ever I want to go(or sends the driver), would insist if I refuse but then let it go if Im adamant.
He's obsessed with the fact that im a virgin and likes to think he would break it. Says he wud kill any guy that comes near me.

Im scared.
Im in a relationship with a man 11 years older than I am. He proposed to me just last week and it may lead to marriage.
He's a total sweetheart, loves me and I think adores me.

Everyone in my family in fond of him.
He's sooo (too) interested in my past. Who Ive been with, all my friends he wants to meet.
He's extremely kind and caring but Im scared of him. When I think of him, I get chills.
I dunno why I feel like this.

I've gone through this thread and the qualities of an Abuser before marriage are all there but then again maybe im just making it seem that way?

He hasn't given me reason to think he's an abuser tho but..... *sighs*
Well im a young girl (21) and my mouth runs alot, extremely stuborn and not a pushover at all, Im quite popular(thats what broke my last relationship) but he seems facinated by my character.
One time he said I'll have to stop speaking to most of my friends. Is it normal?

Lol... I dunno if Im wasting my time looking for things that aren't there.. Just need to talk to someone about this relationship. Its scary.

You've lost her.. Give it up..