Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:1-3 NIV

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question.


"Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,

"Where is God!?"


The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied:

"We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Never take someone for granted,hold every person close to ur heart b'cos u might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while u r too busy collecting stones.Remember this is always in life.

Your last name stays put.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

@CHISTINO, GUESS WE ARE BOTH HUMOROUS GUYS.HOW ARE YOU DOING, YOU CAN JAM ME @myspace.com/misolar24.or misolar24@yahoo.com. we will arrange for some time out, Catch ya,,, where is ur location, =
========================================
NEVER LET THE FUTURE DISTURB YOU,YOU WILL MEET IT IF YOU HAVE TO.WITH THE SAME WEAPON OF REASON WHICH TODAY ARM YOU AGAINST PRESENT
--------------------------------------------MARCUS AURELIUS

As Pope John Paul II was dying; he sent for Tafa Balogun and Dieprieye Alamiesiegha to come to the Vatican.When they arrived, they were ushered to his bedroom. As they entered , the clergyman held out his hands and motioned them to sit on each side of the bed. The Pope grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both Tafa and Dieprieye were touched and flattered that the old Pope would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the Pope never gave any indication that he liked either of them. Finally, Tafa asked, "Father, what for did you ask the two of us to come 'ere?" The old Pope mustered up some strength & said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves,i will like to die like him"

No more 17:59…!





Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the
results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female
hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain
phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1
hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1) argued over nothing.
2) refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about drinking too much beer!

And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh! If you
think they can handle it.

hi guys this is marry, i don,t think its necessary u ask me such question because marry is a femine name, anyway let me answer ur questions by telling u am female and i reside in nigeria. take kia

@tino, hey guy, this lesotho shit .kinda funny, watch ya back.catch ya on sunday,

Do you know the relationship between two eyes, ? they blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together BUT THEY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER, that's what's friendship !!! If I called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened, would you come?, If I had one day left to live my life, would you be part of my last day?, If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours? This is a test to see who is your real friend or just someone that talks to you when they are bored. . . send it to everybody on your list including the person who sent it to you, (and I do care!) Do you?

i have an offlines

where is it sef?








oopss sorry i deleted em



chrissssssssss i am angry at you



infact very mad at you

Remember When u feel u r alone in a crowd, When u feel no 1 can understand u, When ur love is rejected by others, & When u hate ur life, Just close ur eyes & see her face who loves u more than anyone else, who cares for u in loneliness & cries for u when u cry, she is no one but ur sweet loving MUM, Love her more than anyone else in this world, Bcoz only she was, is and will be there for u all the time, Pass this message to every one u know, if u love ur MUM

;d ;d ;d ;d

LoL,

I'd go for Osama

A man sits down for four hours looking at his marraige certifcate, his wife saw him and asked: honey wat are u looking at?, the answered and said: Am looking for the expiring date

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine. When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL says I love you, She means it. When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than her.

A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, pulls it out, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes' silence, they follow through with his disgusting command. "The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: How many of you noticed that I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index finger?

;DTwo engineers applied 4d same position at a computer company. The company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. After the test, ne of the applicants was called into the manager's office. "I have graded the test, and you both scored nine correct answers and got one answer wrong.We've decided to give the job to the other applicant." "And why would you choose him if we both got nine questions correct?" asked the rejected applicant. "We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager. "Why" asked the applicant "The other gentleman answered Question #5, 'I don't know.' Your answer to Question #5 was, 'Neither do i"

A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited. His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young doctor told her to send him in. Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man." He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?" "No," said the man, "I just came in to install the phone."

A young lad said " I am so fed up with life, if my hands are dirty, my mother asks me to wash them, if my face is dirty, i have to wash it, shoes dirty- have to polish them."
The other boy said, "my mother on the other hand hugs me when my face is dirty, when my hands are dirty, she kisses me."
"How lucky of you," said the first boy, " I wish i had a dirty mother like yours."

After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counsellor suggested they vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs from behind and off you go." The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home. "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts you have to stop right away, and second, " she
continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my parents' house."

An old man woke up in the middle of the night and found, to his utter astonishment, that his pecker was as hard as a rock for the first time in two years. He shook his wife by the shoulder until she woke up and showed her his enormous boner. "Check this out!" he happily exclaimed. "What do you think we should do with it?" With one eye open, his wife replied, "Well, now that you've got all the wrinkles out, now would be a good time to wash it."

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No"

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard, "breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, "!

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?"

blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it,

Cop : "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"

Blonde : "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."

Cop : "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"

Blonde : "Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on."

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."

Blonde : "Oh, We just got off of highway 119".

There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde. Their all at the NASA space center. The redhead says to the flight technician "I want to go to the moon". The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says "I want to go to Mars". He says she can go next week. The blonde says "I want to go to the sun". The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says "Well then I'll go at night."

Blonde Inventions
1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute, " "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.