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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> (34993 Views)
Poll: What Kind of offlines do you mostly receive?Religious: 18% (113 votes)Sexy: 19% (116 votes) Jokes: 36% (221 votes) Rumours/info: 7% (44 votes) Vacancies: 7% (44 votes) Society: 0% (6 votes) Links: 3% (21 votes) Other: 6% (41 votes) This poll has ended |
Photo: Yahoo Boys; When The Baba That Blessed Your Laptop Is Sure! / Classic Funny Joke. I Swear Dis Is Not Copy And Paste! Check It Out. :d / Random Jokes. . . Copy And Paste Masters Feel Free To Share (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:14am On May 27, 2006 |
Guess u will enjoy this lovely dinner i have prepared for u, A glass of care, A plate of love, A spoon of peace, A fork of joy, and a bowl of prayers. please enjoy your meal as ball is a circle ,no beginning or end. it keeps us together like our circle of friends, but the treasure inside for u to see is the treasure of friendship u have granted to me. today, i pass the friendship ball to you. if u are a true friend, u will pass this to others and to me at the quickest possible time |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:15am On May 27, 2006 |
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:15am On May 27, 2006 |
Your purpose is ur thought > your thought is ur goal > your goal is ur dream > your dream is ur desire > your desire is ur sentiment > your sentiment is ur love > your love is ur heart > your heart is ur spouse > your spouse is ur future > your future is ur destiny > your destiny is ambition > ur ambition is ur aspiration > your aspiration is ur motivation > ur motivation is ur believe > your believe is ur peace > your peace is ur target > your target is heaven > heaven is ur home. For me and for all of us. I'm sending u a pillow of happiness to create wonderful dreams and a blanket of care to keep u warm all night and good prayer to protect u. |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:15am On May 27, 2006 |
Parish cock was stolen during service.Priest announces:Who has seen a cock?All women rose.I mean who has a cock?All men rose.No i mean who has seen my cock?All reverend sisters rose, Not funny right,Laugh it off |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:17am On May 27, 2006 |
I'm sorry I gotta hit you wit this but, one of my close friends hit me wit it and I felt convicted and had to pass it on.kid asked Jesus, how much do you love me? Jesus replied," I love you this much." and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If you believe in God, you will send this to everyone on your list. If you delete this, you will have a cold heart in 2006. I like you because of who you are to me. I treat you as a true friend. But if I don't get this back, I get the hint. Send this to all people in your list within 30 minutes and something good will happen to you NOW. This is not a fake, apparently, copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10 minutes and you WILL have the best day |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:17am On May 27, 2006 |
It takes more than caring To be a real friend; The nature of friendship; Requires a blend Of warmest compassion And love deep and true To reach and to comfort The way that you do. Because I can see That your kind of friendship Is priceless to me.Happy New Month |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:18am On May 27, 2006 |
Very soon. very very soon. I say very very soon, God is going to do a miracle that will make you halla, ah! Baba you are too much: And He will just laugh and say, child, I am just beginning with you. If you >believe say amen and pass it on to every one in your list. |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:19am On May 27, 2006 |
Wole Soyinka died and went to heaven , As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Soyinka, "whose clock is that?" "That's Bishop Ajayi Crowther's. The hands have never moved, indicating that he never told a lie." "Incredible," said Soyinka. "And whose is that one?" St Peter responded, "That's Nnamdi Azikwe's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Zik told only two lies in his entire life." "Where's Obasanjo's clock?" asked Soyinka. "Obasanjo's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan, |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nike4luv(f): 11:19am On May 27, 2006 |
is this what u guys requested? ![]() |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by nubian(m): 9:30pm On May 27, 2006 |
i have news for you : many people think Abacha is roasting in hell - he couldnt get into heaven , he was such a bad guy , but the devil didnt take him into hell , the devil was soooooooooo scared he ( Abacha ) will plan a coup in hell and over throw him. |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by mukina2: 9:35pm On May 27, 2006 |
chei!!!! dis one's good ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:40am On May 28, 2006 |
Dear Son, I am writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read very fast. We are all very well here. You won't recognise the house when you get home because we've moved. It is quite nice and has got a washing machine. I put shirts in it last week, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary has had her baby, but I don't know if it's a boy or girl, so I can't tell you whether you're an aunt or an uncle. Your cousin Pat died last week at the brewery. He fell into a vat of whiskey. A couple of his mates dived in to save him, but he fought them off bravely. He was cremated on Wednesday, and it took a week to put the fire out. It only rained twice last week. |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:41am On May 28, 2006 |
Walking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, the children had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:43am On May 28, 2006 |
Dat's great Nike very funi ones. LoL, more o' dat, may be I should subscribe to your offlines ![]() |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 12:38pm On May 29, 2006 |
What is ABCDEFG? A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!!!!!!! But what is GFEDCBA? The opposite -> Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!!!!!!!, [too bad |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 12:38pm On May 29, 2006 |
Stone is Enough to Break a Glass…… One Sentence is Enough to Break a Heart……One Second is Enough to Fall in Love……and One Misunderstanding is Sufficient to Break Friendship. Friendship is the Rainbow Between to Hearts. Sharing 7 Characters First i like u, then i loved u, Now i'm afraid to lose u, If you dont send this to everyone on ur list, u will lose the person you love. sorry i dont wana lose the person i love, |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 10:22pm On May 29, 2006 |
Neeone gat sumtin catchy? |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 4:55pm On May 30, 2006 |
Any offline buddies? |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 5:15pm On May 30, 2006 |
Did you know that a flight number from one of the planes that hit one of the two WTC towers on 9/11 was Q33N. In Notepad, type in that flight number i.e Q33N. Increase the font size to 72 Change the font to Wingdings , u will be amazed by the findings!!!, It Itself tells the story of destruction of twin tower !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS IT COINCIDENCE.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR WHAT Try it, It's really interesting |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:06pm On May 31, 2006 |
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd still feed him."So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:07pm On May 31, 2006 |
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!, But don't shove me either." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:08pm On May 31, 2006 |
Trouble arrives in measures, and we stack it up real high, until we're convinced, we have no reason to try. If you feel defeated, you're absolutely wrong, for if you follow your dream, you could never lose for long. Ignore the minor set-backs that pile up and trouble you, or you will build a mountain, out of the stones hurled at you. The future holds great promise, your destiny unknown, but God is always helping, and you're never alone. Soar bravely toward your goal. Let nothing darken the way. You can change your tomorrow, if you seek your dream today. Trouble arrives in measures, and we stack it up real high, until we're convinced, we have no reason to try. If you feel defeated, you're absolutely wrong, for if you follow your dream, you could never lose |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:10pm On May 31, 2006 |
A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done - what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response. The teacher said very simply, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:33pm On May 31, 2006 |
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy, do you see the tree outside? Yes. do you see the grass outside? Yes. Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky. Yes, I saw the sky. Did you see God?: No. That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He doesn't exist. A little girl stood up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. : Tommy, do you see the tree outside? Yes.: do you see the grass outside? Yesssss Did you see the sky? Yessssssssss. do you see the teacher? Yes.: Do you see her brain? No. Then according to what we were taught today in school, she did not have one!!! "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT" |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 1:41pm On May 31, 2006 |
A Jewish businessman warned his son against marrying a non-Jew. The son replied, "But she's converting to Judaism." "It doesn't matter," the old man said. "A shiksa will cause problems." The son persisted. After the wedding, the father called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work. "It's Shabbos," the son replied.The father was surprised: "But we always work on Saturday. It's our busiest day." "I won't work anymore on Saturday," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos." "See," the father said. "I told you marrying a non-Jew would cause problems." |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 6:33pm On May 31, 2006 |
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? hehehe, Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Oops, Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker.If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why is it called building when it is already built? If a book about failures sells, is it a success ? If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Ponder on this and more, |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 6:37pm On May 31, 2006 |
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!" |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:43pm On Jun 01, 2006 |
No Yahoo offlines? |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:46pm On Jun 01, 2006 |
sweet young thing in a mini-skirt arrived & was ushered through. D cardinal was a bit upset about this & demanded an explanation from St. Peter. After all, dey had been waiting outside for quite some time & were pillars of the church. How could a girl in a mini-skirt deserve better treatment? St. Peter smiled & told him: "While she was alive, dat young lady drove a little yellow sports car, regularly jumped red lights, overtook on blind corners, & generally scared the devil out of more people than all of u combined. |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:52pm On Jun 01, 2006 |
Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?" "I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen. He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!" |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:52pm On Jun 01, 2006 |
A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem.'' The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area. ''It's all cleared up!'' the man reports when he returns. ''But what was that medication you gave me?'' ''Lipstick remover.'' |
Re: Copy and Paste Yahoo! Offlines IM in Here. <all The Funnies And Rumours> by Christino(m): 7:58pm On Jun 01, 2006 |
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" |
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