A ship is safe at the harbour, but that's not what ships are built for.

UNTILYOU SEE THE INVISIBLE, YOU CANNOT ENJOY THE IMPOSSIBLE. WHATEVER YOU DO NOT SEE COMING WILL NEVER COME. WHATEVER IS BEYOND YOUR IMMAGINATION IS BEYOND YOUR REALIZATION. YOU CANNOT OBTAIN WHAT YOU CANNOT CONTAIN. KEEP SEEING, KEEP IMAGINING, KEEP WORKING ON IT & IT WILL SOON WALK IN TO YOUR LIFE.

Dreams are a big part of our Lives and You must do whatever it takes to make them a Reality; by the plans you make, the course you take, and the things you do. Don't dwell on past mistakes. Leave yesterday behind, along with all it's problems, worries and doubts. Realize you can't change the past, but you can start a new tomorrow. Don't try to do everything at once; take one step at a time, Don't ever be afraid to try the Impossible no matter what others may think. Remember you are Unique in your own special way

The new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous & abt 10 mins into D sermon his mind went blank. After a brief 2nd of complete panic, he remembered what they had taught him in seminary about situations like dis: repeat D last point. His teacher assured him dis would help him remember what was supposed to come next. So he gave it a try. "Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. He tried D 2nd time, Still nothing. He tried D 3rd time -- speaking with such force dat he fell forward, knocking D pulpit to one side & falling into D lap of a little old lady in D front row. D young preacher apologized profusely. "That’s all right" said D little old lady. "It was my fault. I should have gotten out of D way because U told me 3 times u were coming!"

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.

Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!”

Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher.

When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!"When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!"

And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS, AMEN!"

But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'."

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug it out and ate it. Management Lesson? 1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. 2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. 3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! ,

A man goes to see his Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously answers, "Yes." "Take the poison," says the Rabbi.

It was almost time for school to dismiss and a mother noticed it looked like rain. So she drove toward school to pick up her eight-year-old daughter. She turned down the street to see her daughter running towards her down the sidewalk. A lightning bolt flashed and the little girl looked up towards the sky, smiled and then began running towards her mother's van.Another lightning bolt flashed and again the little girl looked towards the sky, smiled and resumed running. This happened several more times until the little girl finally arrived at where her mother was parked. Her mom immediately inquired as to the strange behavior. "Why did you keep stopping and smiling at the sky," she asked her daughter. "I had to, Mommy. God was taking my picture."

A young scholar from New York was invited to become Rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbat, a hot debate erupted as to whether one should or should not stand during the reading of the Ten Commandments. The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our synagogue's custom during the reading of the Ten Commandments?" "Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz."Yesterday we read the Ten Commandments. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down, " "That," said the old man, "is our custom."

A man orders a chicken dish, and as he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says, "Sir, there has been a mistake. That officer sitting over there is a regular customer who has ordered the same dish. Since this is the last chicken in the house, I'll have to take this dish to him. The man refuses. The waiter goes to the officer and explains the situation. The officer walks over and says, "That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I'll warn you whatever you do to that chicken I'll do the same to you. You pull its legs; I'll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings; I'll break one of your arms!" The man looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird's rectum pulls it out and licks it. He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says, "Your turn!"

If one day u feel like crying, call me. I dont promise that i will make u laugh, but i will encourage and cheer you up. If one day u want to run away-- dont be afraid to call me. I dont promise to ask u to stop, but i can run with u. If one day u dont want to listen to anyone, call me. I promise to be there for u but also promise to remain quiet. But one day if u call, and there is no answer, come fast to see me. Perhaps i need you.

A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. "They're all fine," Moshe said, "Except my uncle. He's very sick." "Your uncle is not sick," the faith healer said. "He THINKS he's sick." Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. "How is your uncle getting along?" he asked. Moshe shrugged, "He THINKS he's dead."

"Well, it means he has no conscience for himself if he is really coming out for the Presidency in 2007. He is a joker, he knows. You know the man is a maradona. He wants to play ball. But he has forgotten that Maradona does not score goals again. He doesn't even deliver in the field of play. So, he should go and rest (IBB)."GANI FAWEYINMI"

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why, does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer". The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!"

A faith healer asked Moshe how his family was getting along. "They're all fine," Moshe said, "Except my uncle. He's very sick." "Your uncle is not sick," the faith healer said. "He THINKS he's sick." Two weeks later, the faith healer ran into Moshe on the street. "How is your uncle getting along?" he asked. Moshe shrugged, "He THINKS he's dead."

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master. Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer. He had no army, yet kings feared him. He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. Feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us. If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son. Send this to all on your buddy list. If not just ignore. In the Bible, Jesus says, "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven." May your troubles be less, your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door!

During school hours one day, a teacher was teaching the students spellings. This conversation ensure between him and one of his student. Teacher: You boy, spell plantain. Boy: Whish one? The ripe one or the unripe one? Teacher: What difference does it make? Just spell plaintain. Boy: Teasha, if you fry the ripe one na 'DODO', if you fry the unripe one, na 'SHIPS', if you roast am na 'BOOLI'. All of them na plantain. Whish one u want make i spell?

Dr Ukiri walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His secretary walked up to him and said, "Dr Ukiri, this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" Ukiri told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his secretary's question about his "garage door". He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by his secretary's desk to ask, "When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?" She smiled and said, "No, Dr. Ukiri, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires."

Three things in life once gone and never comes back, 1.words 2.opportunity 3.time,three things in life are never sure, 1.dreams 2.sucess 3.fortune.threee things in life that make you a great person, 1.hardwork 2.sincerity, 3.sucess, three things in life are most valuable, 1.love 2.hope 3.honesty,three things inlife that desyroy a person, 1.greed 2.pride 3.anger, if u re my friend send this to all friends too includling me.1luv and stay clear mostly ur ways are mean make sure they are pure.letter,

Hi,I'm sorry to bother u but it's urgent. I've a friend coming from far and needs a place to stay since he'll be around, so i've indicated your house. Pls receive and love him. , His name is Jesus Christ of Nazareth. He is already at the door knocking. Say this slowly, Jesus i love u and i need u. Clean my heart with your blood and make it pure. Send this to your friends and people special to you. You will experience a wonderful miracle before the end of this month because you are annoucing Jesus to your friends. if u think the death of Jesus Christ is for nothing ignor this message but if u believe that he died for u 2 prosper in every thing u do send this message 2 every one in ur list.

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me."

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10" ("And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.".

A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.

He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.

"What do you have there?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."

An Ibo man was converted to Islam, after all said and done; he was asked what name he would like to bear, he was given options of Ibrahim (Abraham) Suleiman (Solomon) Musa (Moses) and a host of others. He asked what good were the names, then the imam told him that if u choose any name there will be hope that God will bless you the way he blessed those with the names originally, then the Ibo man asked "how about Dangote"

Different Countries & Their Romantic Meanings" These are really cool meanings !!!!! "H.O.L.L.A.N.D" Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. " I.T.A.L.Y." I Trust And Love You. "L.I.B.Y.A." Love Is Beautiful; "F.R.A.N.C.E." Friendships Remain And Never Can End. "C.H.I.N.A." Come Here, I Need Affection. "B.U.R.M.A." Between Us, Remember Me Always. "N.E.P.A.L." Never Ever Part As Lovers. " I.N.D.I.A." I Nearly Died In Adoration. "K.E.N.Y.A" Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing. "C.A.N.A.D.A." Cute And Naughty Action that developed into attraction "K.O.R.E.A." Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every adversity. "E.G.Y.P.T." Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing! "M.A.N.I.L.A." May All Nights Inspire Love Always

Thats cool
I wonder what NIGERIA could be made to mean?

A wandering monk walked barefoot everywhere he went, to the point that the soles of his feet eventually became quite thick and leathery. And because he ate very little, he gradually became very frail. Several days often passed between opportunities to brush his teeth, so he usually had bad breath. Therefore, throughout the region, he came to be known as the super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis

God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?" Adam says, "Tell me the good news first."God says, "I'm going to give you a penis and a brain. You'll derive from these great pleasure and great intellect." Adam replies, "Wonderful! But what's the bad news?" God says, "I'm only going to give you enough blood supply to work one at a time."

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children, "Youall have obsessions,he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mother, "Your obsession is with money. Again,it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third mother. "Your obsession is alcohol. This manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving".

during a class, a teacher asked her students' "what part of the body goes to heaven first?", a boy raised up his hands and said "the legs ma", so mthe teacher asked him why then he said “it’s because everynight i see my mum’s legs in the air screaming;”God i’m cumming”

A young lady is giving directions to her NEW boyfriend to get to her apartment. She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you'' The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?'' "Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''