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I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by naijagurl: 12:05am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Is it just that some women are just unlucky with men or they made bad choices? What is it? Is it normal that at 26 I still haven't met a guy that has shown some slight interest in me? How long will this last? My friends get approached by guys all the time, but not me. I mean I don't think I'm bad looking. I keep in shape and take care of myself so I don't what the problem is? African guys just don't seem to be really into me. I hoped to be married after graduating from medical school, but that does not seem like it will happen. I will be graduating this may, but I still haven't even dated someone. I just don't get it. How long will this last? I definitely don't want to become a spinster. The people around me are already putting pressure on me. You know in africa there is no such thing as mind your business. I would prefer to marry an igbo guy since I am igbo, but I'm open to other nigerians and maybe a guy from some other west african country. However, I'm not having any luck with them at all. All the guys I've been interested in don't seem to know I exist or they are taken. I don't know what to do. I really want to get married. I don't like the idea of joining a dating site, but I guess I might have to. I feel like it would make me look desperate. I've just been having such bad luck with men. I can't remember a time where any guy actually asked me out. For those women who become spinsters, what leads to that, b/c I do not want to head that path. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by riversman: 12:12am On Nov 22, 2009 |
CHANGE UR WARDROBE - not slutty , but it may be time for new outfits - add some color to ur wardrobe, we like the flashy gurls, dont change ur personality tho WAIT FOR UR TIME - marriage is not a GAME of "1st to reach the altar", and u get to the altar and turn back, then wat, all over again? Start, smiling more, stop all that "Independent woman" BS, ADVICE - its 2009, GO FOR IT, If u want it, then go ahead, a smart dude wont judge, cos we know how hard it is for women, AT LEAST, i have some sense, for those that think am a trouble maker, lol 1 Like |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Guncha(m): 12:21am On Nov 22, 2009 |
C'mon Naija gurl, dont speak lyk dat cos it breaks my heart. I believe ur a nice person, Wld lyk 2 meet u so as to make up 4 lost time, Ibo Boy here, |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by riversman: 12:23am On Nov 22, 2009 |
GUNCHA - i dey carry one eye look u oh, hmmm, i no go talk again(ibo accent) |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Guncha(m): 12:26am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Riversman, u dey craze oh, Y u dey clone as babe, I dey suspect u 2 ooooo, Hope say u no be Homo |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Guncha(m): 12:28am On Nov 22, 2009 |
My bad riversman, Still trying 2 get d hang of this site, I taught u were d author of d thread 1 Like |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by SisiKill1: 12:58am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@ Topic I got two words for you. . . Medical School. What's that mean, you ask? It's simple really. . . You see naija guys are easily intimidated. They ones who aren't. . .have already gone home with the other doctors, lawyers, pilots, rocket scientist, leaving you with slim pickings. All you can hope for is that one of the good guys break up with his girl but i'll advice not to put your all in all on that hope. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by naijagurl: 1:02am On Nov 22, 2009 |
riversman: What do you mean independent woman bs? I am not one of those women who feel like they are too independent b/c they are educated. I still feel being a wife and mother is much more important than being a career woman. My mother used to stay home and my dad worked and she is a wonderful mother. I still believe that women and men still have their own roles. I'm not saying a woman should be like a maid, but it is her responsibility to take care of the home. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by naijagurl: 1:03am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Sisi_Kill: Exactly. Many of them are already taken, but I don't want another woman's man. I will stay focused on the single ones. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Nobody: 1:08am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Educated women are attractive and charming. Just be patient. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by CrazyMan(m): 1:15am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Nne, marriage isn't something you rush into unless you would end up regretting it. Believe me, I understand what you're passing through, but you have to be patient; don't be desperate or else guys would take advantage of you. At your appointed time, you man would come. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by NegroNtns(m): 1:31am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Naija, How is your demeanour when in public or in a party of people? People respond to discerned magnetism. Magnetism is a aura put out by your personality and is radiated outward into the sorroundings. It can be soft. . . and it could be intense! Which one do u have? Do u know? |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Nobody: 2:32am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Sisi_Kill: I don't think it's because of the medical school issue. At least she has to be approached first before guys know she's training to be a doctor or something. But she doesn't get approached. So I guess it's a personality issue or she just doesn't know how to dress well to attract a man. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Sauron1: 2:44am On Nov 22, 2009 |
naijagurl: U need to start exposing those parts of your body you usually cover. Time is ticking away and today's MEN are becoming wiser. . . . .U can be pretty, have a good job, drive a good car, and be spending 60 hours in the gym per week and still not attract men because of the age factor. These days, men are worried about ageing OVARIES. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by wisecutie: 2:57am On Nov 22, 2009 |
naijagurl: When last did you have a bf?How do u dress?Are you boring,short or dress too bannally?Do you use deodorants/antipersperants?Do you wear clothes that are too free(big) on you,of riotous colors or just plain bland?Do you weigh more than Monic?Are you an introvert?Is your skin badly spoted or just plain dirty?Are you sure u aint "not beautiful"?I havent seen a fine girl that doesnt get loads of toesters.Mayb fine is too much-I havent seen a good-looking chic dat didnt have guys flocking her.The guyz might not be her type but they sha come around,but u sound like u dont get toasted at all.Are you ok?I just cant understand why guyz dont ask you out. OK let me break the silence/record-Dear Naijagurl,I like you because you sound very homely,respectful n like d wife every man would desire even though you have a professional degree like me and I want you for a wife.lets talk on-08088888888 n email me. Is that good enuf?lol Have you read the book 'how to attract the right man'?.I dont think so.You would have had the right person cos the book works like magic-it tells you everything from etiquette to psycho-analysis and personality matching.You can get the electronic copy.I will check if I still have one. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by spoilt(f): 3:09am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Live your best single life now. I tell my single friends to travel with their best girl pals any chance they get. Get that passport stamped every chance you get. marriage happens when it does and usually when you least expect. Adding a husband to an already robust life is great not looking for a man to make you feel good because every says its time. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Pweety4me(f): 3:18am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@Poster i believe it's better 2 wait & keep ur patience than 2 be in a haste and rush out later dat's even if u r so lucky 2 get urself out. . . |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by naijagurl: 3:24am On Nov 22, 2009 |
wisecutie: lol, of course i use deodorant and perfume. and no i've never had a bf. i dress normally. i don't like to reveal too much, but i don't dress like a nun either. i thought guys prefer a girl who didn't reveal too much. well at least when they are looking for WIFE material. No im not overweight. i'm 5 feet 8 inches and weigh about 148 lbs. my skin is pretty smooth. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Nobody: 3:46am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Sisi_Kill:Hey love, I beg to differ. Actually, Naija men flock around successful women. Esp awon dokita. Free meal ticket, you know. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Busybody2(f): 3:52am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@ Sharon and Stillwater Howdy B-listers, I can see you two trying to chip in your two cents too and tryna feel among You can't fly until you learn to walk you hear, so if i were you i'd concentrate on building my intelligence for now and give it 2 years before i start dishing advise on NL I am in a generous mood so would give you both E- for effort, try harder and better luck next time |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Busybody2(f): 3:58am On Nov 22, 2009 |
wisecutie: Do you know me from somewhere before, I am shocked how you were able to describe me to a tee in your first paragraph I feel such a strong connection with you already, it has to be divine intervention ordained by the cosmos, and yes I am single too and please tell me you are the bone of my bone, my missing rib |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by CrazyMan(m): 4:15am On Nov 22, 2009 |
[s]Yes I know you from yaba left. We were both inmates; and had great sex on a regular basics. I escaped while you were released for good behaviour. Alrght crazyMan, that question wasn't meant for you [/s] |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by omega25red(m): 4:21am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@ poster where do you hang out or better yet what do you do for fun seems to me like you have been so mixed up with your educationg for such a long time that you haven't had the time to have fun. i suggest you start having fun first then you can date different people before you start thinking of marriage. The worst thing you can do when you meet a guy even as the doctor that you are is to start talking about getting married in less than 6 months. so have fun get a visa and tarvel out there are tons of men out there and seriously dont let your main search criteria be "igbo man" |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Nobody: 4:28am On Nov 22, 2009 |
The poster sounds like a very passive person. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by No2Atheism(m): 4:31am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@topic and @poster 1. I am a guy, hence in reality its difficult for me to completely understand your perspective and feelings in this scenario. Hence i understand that a few of my statements might be not appropriate when considered from the perspective of a woman (apologies if that is the case). 2. There is nothing to be afraid about, do not stress yourself. Yes i understand you are a woman and hence you be probably running on a kind of biological and emotional clock. 3. There are those who got married early and ended up regreting it, yet there are those who go married late and have been blissful ever since. Thus getting married early is not a guarantee of a successful marriage. 4. This does not mean i am wishing that you also get married late, instead what i am trying to say is that you should focus more on finding love rather than on beating time. 5. I am in support of some (not all) of the things suggested by Wisecutie shown below . . . the only things i am partly in support of are the ones i have quoted below. . . I AM NOT IN SUPPORT OF THE THINGS I HAVE NOT QUOTED. wisecutie: 6. Love and relationship is not really mathematics, hence its never straigthforward. For example, let me use myself as an example: - I have encountered ladies that ticked all the boxes in terms of beauty and my fantasy, nevertheless at the end of the day . . . weird as it sounds . . . I still do not consider them to be wife material. Hence the attraction does not go beyond the admiration of beauty and fantasy. - On the other hand, there are ladies who initially do not tickle my fancy, but for some unknown reason, I grow more and more attracted to them with each passing day. . . so much so that I consider them to be wife material. 7. Please whatever you do, never ever become bitchy or slutty . . . this is because most men that i know would never want to make a bitchy or slutty woman a wife. 8. It is true that some men might be intimidated by successful or highly educated women. . .this is however not always really true. Hence i kinda support wat FL Gators said highly educate women being high priced favourites of men. 9. You need to understand some things about we men. Men take pride and show off their wives based on the combination of either of the following. - Homeliness. - Beauty. - Brains. - Wealth. - Common sense and Maturity. Hence men end up getting attracted to women based on their preferences and combination of the preferences listed above. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Nobody: 6:59am On Nov 22, 2009 |
no biggie. Just be careful he doesnt vanish after settling down. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by layzie: 8:04am On Nov 22, 2009 |
lol, of course i use deodorant and perfume. and no i've never had a bf. i dress normally. i don't like to reveal too much, but i don't dress like a nun either. i thought guys prefer a girl who didn't reveal too much. well at least when they are looking for WIFE material. No im not overweight. i'm 5 feet 8 inches and weigh about 148 lbs. my skin is pretty smooth. at 30 Guess dat makes u a virgin . Wud it be correct if i say: u re too rigid, principled and unflexible? |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by SisiKill1: 8:21am On Nov 22, 2009 |
@ tpia rotflmao! She should go into the importing business, eh? Bwahahahaha! @ Stillwater People talk especially in our naija community. . .a guy sees a girl he is interested in, he asks around "Hey Bro, who's that girl?" "That girl? That's naijagurl. She attends my church, she's in medical school. I think she's almost done sef. You like her? "Well. . . She seems nice" " Yeah she seems nice but you know how these girls are, especially when they think they are smart. That arrogance. . .Personally, i wouldn't wanna deal with that" "Yeah. . . i know what you mean" And that's all folks! Poor naijagurl is out in the cold. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by dapsycool(m): 8:44am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Sisi_Kill: |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by MrIbu1: 11:31am On Nov 22, 2009 |
Dont be afraid my dear but if you dont mind i will like to be your friend and i believe things will work out well if are ready tell me so that i will mail you my full info. |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by lovemoi2(f): 11:38am On Nov 22, 2009 |
^^^^^ LOL THIS IS BECOMING A PITY PARTY GIRL i know you feel your clock is ticking but just be yourself and do not show any sign of desperation |
Re: I Am Afraid Of Being 30 And Still Unmarried by Tcrack(m): 12:29pm On Nov 22, 2009 |
APPEARANCE! APPEARANCE!! APPEARANCE!!!.Never take that word lightly. once you av worked on your appearance: 1: Try to SOCIALIZE more. BF wont come inside you house to look for you. you have to go to places where you can "display your market".ALONE eg. parties, church, cinema, beach, eateries,pool etc, 2:When you see a guy you like approach him with a smile. He wont bite. 3:Make friends with girls that have male friends. they will easily hook you up with someone. 4:Join a dating sit, you will be surprised how many mail you will get per day, though, 90% of them will be silly. If you try all this steps am sure you will begin to chase guys away because you will have more than you can handle. Dont be in a hurry to get married. remember that ITS BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO BE ALONE WITH THE WRONG PERSON. |
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